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I was there when no one was watching

Posted July 07th, 2026

To those who say I wasn't there, I answer: I was there when no one was watching.

For me, being at Siracusa Pride is not a gesture, not a photo op, not a name on a poster.

It is the continuation of a journey I began 53 years ago, when, at 13 years old, I arrived alone in San Francisco and the LGBTQ+ community took me by the hand and taught me that diversity is not something to hide, but to embrace.

And when I speak of community, I mean the entire community, without distinctions.

Gay, lesbian, trans. For me, it has always been this way.

And I'm not saying this today because it's trendy. I'm saying it because I have the scars to prove it.

In 1981, at 21 years old, I sang:

Who is Vanessa the vamp?

She's a butterfly that once

Was just a courtyard caterpillar

That was so long ago

She took her savings and ran away

To Casablanca and tried on

A beautiful body to wear

A real novelty.

Who do you think a 21-year-old girl was speaking to, in an Italy that didn't even know how to pronounce the word "trans"?

Back then, there were no likes on social media, and no easy catwalks.

There was only the courage to step onto a stage and say, without shouting but through gestures: I am here for you too.

And when I returned from those appearances, do you know what I found? Scolding. Judgmental looks. Words that told me: "Don't do it, Heather."

But I did it anyway.

I know that in recent days there has been a lot of talk about me. And I know that some of my words, taken out of the context of an entire lifetime, have sparked debate.

If anyone has perceived distance or misunderstanding, I am sorry. Because that was never my intention to push anyone away.

And let me be clear about one thing, because sincerity is the only path I know. My statement, as strong as it was, was limited to the physiological aspect. A person's soul has nothing to do with their biology.

But if there's one thing I've learned in 53 years of walking with this community, it's that respect for diversity is not built with labels. It is built with glances, with gestures, with presence.

And I have done so for an entire lifetime, with my opinions, with my limitations, with my humanity.

In years when being on the side of this community gave no popularity, no visibility, nothing except the joy of being who you are. And that joy, for me, is still everything.

Diversity is not a value you can stretch or shrink at will. It is not a suit you wear for one night and take off the next day. Diversity is a commitment. It is a pact that we build together, even when we don't agree on everything.

And true diversity passes through dialogue. Through tolerance. Through confrontation, even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it's difficult. Never through hatred.

I am coming to Siracusa to celebrate the entire LGBTQ+ community. Every person. Every story. Every identity. Without exceptions, without exclusions, without distinctions. I will be there to embrace anyone who wants to be embraced. To dance with those who want to dance. To shake the hand of those who have walked longer than I have.

Without distinctions. Without fear. With love.

Heather Parisi

13 comments

July 07th, 2026 10:16

This piece is really powerful. It's so easy for people to criticize from the sidelines now, but Heather's words about her history and genuine commitment really hit home. It reminds me that true allyship isn't about social media points, but about consistent action, even when it's hard. There's no Block Blast for this kind of dedication.

July 11th, 2026 11:21

That long-standing commitment should not be erased because of one controversial comment, especially if there is a genuine effort to explain the intended meaning and apologize for any hurt caused. At the same time, good FNF intentions do not automatically prevent words from having a negative impact. Listening to those who feel affected and engaging in respectful dialogue is an important part of maintaining trust.

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