Free Mind

Heather Parisi

To whom prefers to talk about gossip

Posted November 25th, 2019

These days, after my appearance on Live Non e’ La D’Urso I have been receiving many an email.

Words of affect and solidarity, but also desperate cries of help from women that have lived or are still living a similar experience as I lived many years ago.

When I was invited to the show, I was asked to talk about Maternity at 50 years of age and, Sovereignism. I refused Sovereignism.

Because I wanted to talk about something else.

And, not as so many do, alas, towards the end of one’s career.having fun to tell about what they did on their bed.

I wanted to talk about a subject that is deep in my heart, in which I experienced, that has left deep furrows in my life: violence within our own homes.

I have never told anyone but Umberto.

When you live this type of experience, you feel alone. It is literally impossible to find help.

Everyone plays it down.

And, I am, having a rebel reputation, a bit wild and fanatical, a believable person even less.

They put a label on you and it is there until the end of your life.

The world around you doesn’t understand or, plays dumb.

And, nobody should be amazed. Even to this day, there are people who do NOT believe or they just prefer not to.

Anyone, just any Mr. or Mrs. Nobody, but also those who boast connections and acquaintances.

These attitudes and behavior only add up to the violence that you have already gone through making it, at times, unbearable.

Not just one, but one hundred, no a thousand tormentors, all of those who judge you without having the slightest idea, that use your weakness to become self-righteous referees, that prefer to “talk about anything but” because violence towards women is uncomfortable and it disturbs more than gossip.

For this reason, a woman to talk about the violence she has lived through, is probably more painful than the violence itself.

It is not only the memory of what has happened to you, but the rage from within yourself for not being capable of rebellion, but also the embarrassment to look dirty and weak in the eyes of people, and the awareness that those people, will come to a negative conclusion and they will unfairly condemn you.

I do not care. Today I am not the young and naïve woman, vulnerable and gullible, that many a person took advantage of. Today I am protected by a real relationship with a profound Love so strong it is embraced by sincerity, and I want to raise awareness to a “real” problem that is highly underestimated.

At this time, I am not interested in naming names. For the time being, that is.

In Italy there are too many misogynists, too many foreclosures towards women. And a certain culture still believes, in this day and age, that women should be at home, which only provides a lousy alibi.

Today I would like to give courage to those who do not have courage, and there is no better way than to TALK AND TALK without any stopovers and, without shame or disgrace, to defeat a heinous and odious act that unfortunately affects too many women to this day.

HPA

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